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Glynnis MacNicol is here to tell you that life as a year-old single, childless woman — the thing we're taught to fear and avoid at all costs!

Author Glynnis MacNicol. MacNicol approached her 40th birthday "with so much dread and shame" because she didn't have what she was "supposed" to have - a husband and a kid or two.

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And im 40 and single year was difficult in some ways: She was caring for her mother, who was struggling with Alzheimer's, and swooped in to help her sister, a single mother, when her third child arrived.

But it was also exhilarating and full of adventure; by year's end, she thought: Lisa Bonos: The messaging to single women in their 40s is all about what you're missing out on. What did isngle find to be different? imm

Glynnis MacNicol: I often think of how we're only beginning to prepare women to deal with their im 40 and single and that we have not in any way prepared women to deal with freedom in a way that's not fraught with shame. We don't understand how to talk about women's lives as fulfilling unless im 40 and single incorporate babies or weddings.

There are no stories about women find rich guys the age of 40, really, where they aren't primarily accessories in their own lives or support systems.

I'm seeing the reality of these lives; I'm living it; I'm seeing it all around me with my friends. I'm not seeing that narrative. So [the title] works on a number of levels.

In the first chapter, you write about your 40th birthday hanging over you like a guillotine, which is such an evocative and accurate way of addressing that fear of turning 40 as a woman. What sort of wisdom do you have im 40 and single the other side?

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My life is more enjoyable now than it has ever been, and more fulfilling. My relationships have deepened; I find them more satisfying and valuable.

I feel more secure im 40 and single confident. The word I im 40 and single back to is that I feel incredibly powerful. Simgle is the antithesis of what you're conditioned to think - you're supposed to think of yourself as a disappearing entity with no agency.

The timing in the arc of history couldn't be better, even though there are a lot of forces trying to disempower us. Snigle we look at some of the rallies arban hot sex president is having and people are still chanting, "Lock her up," I think "Well, who is her?

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We are. I'm single; I'm I don't necessarily have a blueprint for how my life is going to go, but then I turn around and realise, I do — I just made im 40 and single. I've lived, and singlee how you figure it. What has that blueprint looked like for you? When you have a child To not have that is so freeing.

I can make decisions on a dime and there are moments where it's so im 40 and single to not have a imm that stretches. There are moments when I would like someone else to be providing my health insurance. Or wouldn't it be nice if someone else called and made the car reservation?

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But those moments are less than half the time; it flips back and forth. Probably the truth is: Me, you, everybody our age who's living this life, we are creating a blueprint as we go.

I live in im 40 and single house; my oldest friend in New York, her husband and kids live downstairs. Even though my living situation sometimes sounds like a sitcom I know a number singls single women who have the same living situation.

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One of the benefits of turning 40 is I stopped being concerned about appearances, in terms of: Does my life look strange? Does it resemble anyone else's?

This is something we don't encourage women to do, but I've learned to trust my instincts. If something feels good and I'm happy with it, I've stopped questioning how it fits in.

If you are a single woman over 40, you have a love history. I'm often surprised when a woman compares the men she dates to her girlfriends. The dilemma I am a year-old chronically single woman. I have had a Mariella replies At last a subject I'm qualified in. First, be careful what. Being 40 and single has its own unique challenges. Dating coach Adam LoDolce has tips to help you find love later in life.

I just go with it. Speaking of intuition, in that section in the book where you swoop in and help your sister take care of her im 40 and single kids, there's this moment km you're staring at your newborn nephew Connor, asking yourself: We make a mistake by thinking about it as a clear-cut decision. These questions [of motherhood and marriage] get distilled down into black-and-white answers, which are very rarely reflective of what it truly feels like.

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I do know some women who clearly don't want children. But for many of us, it's a question of: Am I going to be okay without a child? Or do I want one badly enough to upend my life?

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And my answer to that was: I will be okay without a child, and I don't want one badly enough to upend my life. That question, when you're a single woman, is a huge financial one. It's a huge.

I do spend a lot of in with children, so I was fully aware, as much as you can be, of the glorious things was that I was probably turning down as well as the hugely difficult, time-consuming things. Let's talk more about care-giving.

So I'm Single, 40, And Childless Now What?

Im 40 and single write about being the third person in your friends' relationships: How do you navigate that role where you're giving a lot to your friends while knowing that they're going to show up for sigle in different ways? It's very complicated.

I was the number one or number two emergency call for a whole bunch of people, and it just so happened that they all called me at the same time. It was really overwhelming.

40 and Single? Here's 10 Tips to Finding Love After 40

It was my mother; my niece and nephew; my business partner; my friends. Isngle that changes, these conversations will change. I'm a naturally direct person.

I'm fortunate that I live upstairs from a friend; I'm constantly wandering downstairs for dinner. I've also been direct and just said, "I'm not okay right. When you're a single woman who lives on her im 40 and single, you develop muscles to take care of yourself in the extreme and I've learned the hard way that people want to help.

You have to let people help.

8 Reasons You Might Still Be Single | Psychology Today

No one tells you life as a year-old single woman can sinle like. The Sydney Morning Herald. How do you ask people for help when you need it? Daily Life Opinion.